March 2008
Where Do I Belong?
The Dilemma of a Mixed-Race Muslim
by Somayya Gefori
I am a mixed race Muslim, which sounds simple in itself, but I can often find myself thinking, ‘Where do I really belong?’ I am Libyan on my father’s side, and English on my mother’s side. Oh, how much easier it must be to just be one race! You know right away where you belong, and there’s nobody around you saying, ‘But Libya is better!’ and vice-versa.
Libya
I have visited Libya and found I enjoyed it very much, as I wasn’t targeted for how I dressed, or what I believed in. The simple fact was everybody else was also a Muslim, so I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb, the way I do in England, my full-time home.
An Incident in England
In England I have been verbally abused many times, and even physically attacked. I have decided it must be because of the way I dress, with a scarf and coat. I had never uttered a word to these people, and then suddenly a barrage of abuse comes my way.
The most recent attack was in early October 2007. I was shopping with my mother and was several paces behind her, lagging because I had just an operation a few weeks before to remove a burst appendix. Suddenly, a smoothie cup came flying my way, and although it didn’t hit me, it was pretty obvious that I was the intended target. I was walking slowly, which would have made it even easier to hit me with something.
I turned around to see who had hit me, and there were two men in a car. The passenger had thrown the cup and was now swearing and acting very threateningly. They even turned around the car and followed me, all the while shouting and swearing. I quickly ran into a nearby shop, sobbing.
Luckily, outside the shop were two witnesses who saw the whole thing, and had even written down the registration of the dark-blue BMW. I reported this incident to the police and it has since been dealt with. The perpetrator was fined fifty pounds.
Proud of My Mixed Roots
Of course, I could easily have avoided being involved in such terrible attacks if I stopped wearing my Islamic dress, and wore the same clothes outside as everyone else - jeans, a top and a jacket. Nobody would have looked twice at me. I would have blended in, but I am stronger than that.
I know that a lot of people would love it if hijab-wearing women didn’t exist. Somehow they feel threatened by it, but this is my religious conviction.
Or, I could just leave this country, and go to Libya, couldn’t I? I will not do any such thing. Since I am mixed race, and hold two passports, I can decide to live in Libya or Great Britain, and right now I choose to stay in Britain. Despite the small minority of trouble-makers, I do love this country. When it comes to it and I am married, I even want my children to grow up in Britain, inshallah. After all, I have managed to grow up here and keep my religion, and be proud of my mixed roots!
Where Do We Belong?
I have a few mixed-race friends and we have often spoke about this very topic, where do we belong? I think I feel like I belong in one part more than the other, but that is really only to do with my religion and how it has affected me living in a non-Muslim country. There are pros and cons to both nationalities. I have come to the conclusion that I will just be proud of being both, no matter what anyone says. I don’t only belong in Libya or only England, I belong in both places at the same time, my roots are in two countries, and that’s the way it is!
As-Salamu alaykum sister Somayya. Thanks for this article and I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you last October. It’s difficult enough being a young person and dealing with the challenges of growing up, without having to deal with these sorts of idiots as well.
You wrote that you have thought from time to time, “Oh, how much easier it must be to just be one race!” I’m not sure this is true. I am, I suppose, “one race” since both my parents are Egyptian, though I was born in the USA. And my daughter is what you would call “mixed race” since my wife is American.
But I have never, ever thought of myself or her in those terms. I am Muslim, she is Muslim. Those are my roots and hers.
Modern DNA testing tells us that every person is a blend of genetic sources from many cultures. An Englishman might have DNA from Uzbekistan, Kenya and Lebanon. So race is really an illusion, and anyone who tries to base his identity on race is deluding himself.
When you have large groups who base their identity on race or nationality and identify very strongly with that identity, the result is conflicts and wars based on racism and nationalism.
Our race and nationality are out of our control. It’s not a choice we make, it’s just something we are born into. To base our identity on something that is beyond our control does not make sense. You would not base your identity on the color of your hair or the size of your feet. So why base it on the color of your skin or the place where you were born?
Islam teaches us that our identity is based on things that we do control: our belief and our actions. These are choices that we make. Whether we worship Allah, or worship worldly things. Whether we are honest, righteous, spiritual and kind, or selfish and material. These are the things that truly shape our identity.
Another great article from my sister somayya!! Mashaallah! But I have to say I personally think being of dual heritage is a very unique thing, and makes us alot more interesting!
There is also the cultures of both sides of the family, I am actually really glad to be of mixed race, but the most important thing is that I have been brought up Muslim, and of course Islam does not discriminate which is the most important thing.
Well done, great article. One I am sure many can relate to, I definately can. Masha’Allah, keep it up!
Big up to my fellow halfy Somayya!I’m sorry to hear what happened to you, alhamdullillah ala salamtik.
Having to deal with two cultures can be conflicting sometimes, but I think the most important thing is placing yourself as Muslim first no matter what your race(s) may be. I think it’s a shame that people put too much emphasis on race and nationality with all their discriminations and prejudices, we’re all human at the end of the day.
An article well written, keep it up.
Salam, good article there big sis :-p
But yeah you know i can do better! Only joking!
But yeah it is good and makes you think bout your background and all that!
salaam alaikom ,
inshallah this reaches u in a well state. i just read ur story .. and i can really relate to ur story. i am a muslim woman who is the daughter of a lebanese muslim man and a jamaican catholic woman.i was born in lebanon , but grew up in leb, usa and jamaica.. i have been living in usa since 1995 and i am still here. i have never had such public hostile eevents happen to me like u had,and i thank allah that it has not..but sometimes i think that it would be an easier sometimes if i was just one race.. but like one brother posted a comment previously as long as we are muslim, that is all that matters. but the only thing that my mixed identity has brought are just alot of stares from people, because i do not ” look like a certain group”. so they are curious .. what i am ? sometimes they ask me and most of the time they just stare at me.. but i know what they are thinking. it’s ok. i love being mixed , because i have so much culture from each side and i am open mined… my ex-husband was from afghanistan and inshallah the next man i marry i will be open to that also.. and i just think , how beautiful my kids will be. and i smile… as long as you are happy with yourself.. who cares what others say about your ethnicity.. and i think you were attacked because of the fact that you were muslim , not mixed. because i have lived and visited london … more than half of the population there are mixed with 2 or more races. so do not get discouraged. the idiots that attacked you are ignornant and uneducated people. keep your head up and allah will guide you.
may allah bless you and ur family, inshallah
your sister in islam,
najwa fares-pazli
Great article Somaya,
Im sure it will be of help to many people.
Having four boys of my own of mixed race Hamdilallah, Libyan and British. I always tell them how fortunate they are to be of two cultures. I find that they experience a lot more things which is good for their character building. My boys love going to Libya for visits, its their second home is what they feel. They have a large loving family their, who love them all very much and i think that this is what they miss the most.
The also love England too. But I always tell them say Hamdilallah you have a choice to go and visit any time you want to. They can take the good from both sides. The main thing is wherever the are they are still Muslim.
Iam sorry Somaya to hear about your incident, but keep up your good work writing your articles as you will be inspiring to so many muslims Young and Old.
Hi there Somayya,
First I want to say that I’m sorry you had that bad experience. On the bright side, thank God you weren’t physically hurt and at least there were people kind enough to help you out. Inshallah it wont happen to you again.
Second, I agree that it’s hard to be “mixed”. My father is Palestinian and my mother is Filipino. We are a Muslim family, but my mother was Catholic before getting married–so her relatives are Christian. To add to the mix, I grew up in a foreign country (neither Palestine nor Philippines!) and studied in international schools. So my entire life is just a big jumble of everything!
People (even my relatives) always try to make me feel ashamed for not knowing the cultures & languages of my parents very well. I usually feel out of place. I can’t say where I belong or what I am…People stare at me and ask me lots of questions. They laugh when I speak in broken Arabic or Filipino. Even these little things can make me feel humiliated and unaccepted sometimes.
But when I really think about it, the truth is that my faith is what makes me feel most at home. And although it’s hard, I am proud to be from everywhere and nowhere at the same time–because I’ve experienced so many things, met so many different people…my life is so colorful, al hamdulillah, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.