Where Do I Belong? The Dilemma of a Mixed-Race Muslim
Author: somayya (12 Articles)
Somayya Gefori is an English/Libyan mixed race Muslim girl from Middlesbrough, North-East England, in the U.K. She is the second oldest of five children. She enjoys writing and is a cat lover.
March 2008
Where Do I Belong?
The Dilemma of a Mixed-Race Muslim
by Somayya Gefori
I am a mixed race Muslim, which sounds simple in itself, but I can often find myself thinking, ‘Where do I really belong?’ I am Libyan on my father’s side, and English on my mother’s side. Oh, how much easier it must be to just be one race! You know right away where you belong, and there’s nobody around you saying, ‘But Libya is better!’ and vice-versa.
Libya
I have visited Libya and found I enjoyed it very much, as I wasn’t targeted for how I dressed, or what I believed in. The simple fact was everybody else was also a Muslim, so I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb, the way I do in England, my full-time home.
An Incident in England
In England I have been verbally abused many times, and even physically attacked. I have decided it must be because of the way I dress, with a scarf and coat. I had never uttered a word to these people, and then suddenly a barrage of abuse comes my way.
The most recent attack was in early October 2007. I was shopping with my mother and was several paces behind her, lagging because I had just an operation a few weeks before to remove a burst appendix. Suddenly, a smoothie cup came flying my way, and although it didn’t hit me, it was pretty obvious that I was the intended target. I was walking slowly, which would have made it even easier to hit me with something.
I turned around to see who had hit me, and there were two men in a car. The passenger had thrown the cup and was now swearing and acting very threateningly. They even turned around the car and followed me, all the while shouting and swearing. I quickly ran into a nearby shop, sobbing.
Luckily, outside the shop were two witnesses who saw the whole thing, and had even written down the registration of the dark-blue BMW. I reported this incident to the police and it has since been dealt with. The perpetrator was fined fifty pounds.
Proud of My Mixed Roots
Of course, I could easily have avoided being involved in such terrible attacks if I stopped wearing my Islamic dress, and wore the same clothes outside as everyone else – jeans, a top and a jacket. Nobody would have looked twice at me. I would have blended in, but I am stronger than that.
I know that a lot of people would love it if hijab-wearing women didn’t exist. Somehow they feel threatened by it, but this is my religious conviction.
Or, I could just leave this country, and go to Libya, couldn’t I? I will not do any such thing. Since I am mixed race, and hold two passports, I can decide to live in Libya or Great Britain, and right now I choose to stay in Britain. Despite the small minority of trouble-makers, I do love this country. When it comes to it and I am married, I even want my children to grow up in Britain, inshallah. After all, I have managed to grow up here and keep my religion, and be proud of my mixed roots!
Where Do We Belong?
I have a few mixed-race friends and we have often spoke about this very topic, where do we belong? I think I feel like I belong in one part more than the other, but that is really only to do with my religion and how it has affected me living in a non-Muslim country. There are pros and cons to both nationalities. I have come to the conclusion that I will just be proud of being both, no matter what anyone says. I don’t only belong in Libya or only England, I belong in both places at the same time, my roots are in two countries, and that’s the way it is!
February 27th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
As-Salamu alaykum sister Somayya. Thanks for this article and I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you last October. It’s difficult enough being a young person and dealing with the challenges of growing up, without having to deal with these sorts of idiots as well.
You wrote that you have thought from time to time, “Oh, how much easier it must be to just be one race!” I’m not sure this is true. I am, I suppose, “one race” since both my parents are Egyptian, though I was born in the USA. And my daughter is what you would call “mixed race” since my wife is American.
But I have never, ever thought of myself or her in those terms. I am Muslim, she is Muslim. Those are my roots and hers.
Modern DNA testing tells us that every person is a blend of genetic sources from many cultures. An Englishman might have DNA from Uzbekistan, Kenya and Lebanon. So race is really an illusion, and anyone who tries to base his identity on race is deluding himself.
When you have large groups who base their identity on race or nationality and identify very strongly with that identity, the result is conflicts and wars based on racism and nationalism.
Our race and nationality are out of our control. It’s not a choice we make, it’s just something we are born into. To base our identity on something that is beyond our control does not make sense. You would not base your identity on the color of your hair or the size of your feet. So why base it on the color of your skin or the place where you were born?
Islam teaches us that our identity is based on things that we do control: our belief and our actions. These are choices that we make. Whether we worship Allah, or worship worldly things. Whether we are honest, righteous, spiritual and kind, or selfish and material. These are the things that truly shape our identity.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Another great article from my sister somayya!! Mashaallah! But I have to say I personally think being of dual heritage is a very unique thing, and makes us alot more interesting!
There is also the cultures of both sides of the family, I am actually really glad to be of mixed race, but the most important thing is that I have been brought up Muslim, and of course Islam does not discriminate which is the most important thing.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Well done, great article. One I am sure many can relate to, I definately can. Masha’Allah, keep it up!
February 28th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Big up to my fellow halfy Somayya!I’m sorry to hear what happened to you, alhamdullillah ala salamtik.
Having to deal with two cultures can be conflicting sometimes, but I think the most important thing is placing yourself as Muslim first no matter what your race(s) may be. I think it’s a shame that people put too much emphasis on race and nationality with all their discriminations and prejudices, we’re all human at the end of the day.
An article well written, keep it up.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Salam, good article there big sis :-p
But yeah you know i can do better! Only joking!
But yeah it is good and makes you think bout your background and all that!
February 29th, 2008 at 5:04 am
salaam alaikom ,
inshallah this reaches u in a well state. i just read ur story .. and i can really relate to ur story. i am a muslim woman who is the daughter of a lebanese muslim man and a jamaican catholic woman.i was born in lebanon , but grew up in leb, usa and jamaica.. i have been living in usa since 1995 and i am still here. i have never had such public hostile eevents happen to me like u had,and i thank allah that it has not..but sometimes i think that it would be an easier sometimes if i was just one race.. but like one brother posted a comment previously as long as we are muslim, that is all that matters. but the only thing that my mixed identity has brought are just alot of stares from people, because i do not ” look like a certain group”. so they are curious .. what i am ? sometimes they ask me and most of the time they just stare at me.. but i know what they are thinking. it’s ok. i love being mixed , because i have so much culture from each side and i am open mined… my ex-husband was from afghanistan and inshallah the next man i marry i will be open to that also.. and i just think , how beautiful my kids will be. and i smile… as long as you are happy with yourself.. who cares what others say about your ethnicity.. and i think you were attacked because of the fact that you were muslim , not mixed. because i have lived and visited london … more than half of the population there are mixed with 2 or more races. so do not get discouraged. the idiots that attacked you are ignornant and uneducated people. keep your head up and allah will guide you.
may allah bless you and ur family, inshallah
your sister in islam,
najwa fares-pazli
March 1st, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Great article Somaya,
Im sure it will be of help to many people.
Having four boys of my own of mixed race Hamdilallah, Libyan and British. I always tell them how fortunate they are to be of two cultures. I find that they experience a lot more things which is good for their character building. My boys love going to Libya for visits, its their second home is what they feel. They have a large loving family their, who love them all very much and i think that this is what they miss the most.
The also love England too. But I always tell them say Hamdilallah you have a choice to go and visit any time you want to. They can take the good from both sides. The main thing is wherever the are they are still Muslim.
Iam sorry Somaya to hear about your incident, but keep up your good work writing your articles as you will be inspiring to so many muslims Young and Old.
March 30th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Hi there Somayya,
First I want to say that I’m sorry you had that bad experience. On the bright side, thank God you weren’t physically hurt and at least there were people kind enough to help you out. Inshallah it wont happen to you again.
Second, I agree that it’s hard to be “mixed”. My father is Palestinian and my mother is Filipino. We are a Muslim family, but my mother was Catholic before getting married–so her relatives are Christian. To add to the mix, I grew up in a foreign country (neither Palestine nor Philippines!) and studied in international schools. So my entire life is just a big jumble of everything!
People (even my relatives) always try to make me feel ashamed for not knowing the cultures & languages of my parents very well. I usually feel out of place. I can’t say where I belong or what I am…People stare at me and ask me lots of questions. They laugh when I speak in broken Arabic or Filipino. Even these little things can make me feel humiliated and unaccepted sometimes.
But when I really think about it, the truth is that my faith is what makes me feel most at home. And although it’s hard, I am proud to be from everywhere and nowhere at the same time–because I’ve experienced so many things, met so many different people…my life is so colorful, al hamdulillah, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:28 am
Big Up! Fellow Arab!
Im Half Iraqi And Half Irish And I Completely Get You!
Sometimes I Find That It Isnt Even Just British Or Non Muslim People That Discriminate! Even Some Muslims Cannot Understand And Appreciate Us Mixed Race Muslims, As My Skin Is More White Than Brown They Find This Strange And Sometimes Dismiss My Islamic Opinion Or View. Hard To Deal With But Allow Them! As Long As You Have Strong Imaan Then Its Kl! Keep Bein Strong x
July 25th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Thanks for all the great comments, especially those from fellow mixed-race Muslims, I’m glad you all understood my article and appreciated it. I think more Muslims have got to open their eyes and see that Islam has reached all over the globe, which equals Muslims of different and mixed nationalities. It doesn’t matter what colour someone is.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Salam Someayah
I think your article is very inspurational to mixed raced Muslims and Muslims who arnt mixed raced too.
I am realy sory to hear the terible inssodent that happend to you inshahillah Allah will punish the stupid ediots! Because everyone should treat people how they would want to be treated eaven if their not religious or not, because how would they like it if they were verbally abused and attacked because of the way they looked!
I can understand your article well because eaven though im not mixed raced and I am 100% British and I am Muslim and my Husband is British and Muslim too because he was Muslim before me ane then I converted to be a Muslim when we maried.
My point is when I meet new people who are Muslim or not their reaction is shocked and suprized and happy with a mixture of confusion because they exspect me to be Christian or Catholic and so when they hear Im Muslim they are shocked because I am white and british and my Husband feels the same as well.
At the end of the day if we are all Muslim it shouldnt matter what coulur are skin is! Eevery day people in the Uk should acept what religion we are because when you go on holiday to Libia,Egypt or any where the people their acept peoples other religions!I think here in the North east of England Middlesbrough where me and you live are very small minded people in the small towns you would allso get this in a village as well because I have lived in a village and grew up in one. where as if you went to a larger city say Manchester, Birmingham and London you wouldnt of got the abbuse you had thrown at you.
Keep up the good work Som your be the next journelist yet well done looking forward to reading more articles!
September 5th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Helo,
i have seeen al what you got here and i am proud of what i saw please is there a way i can also be contributing to the programme, if yes please reply.
salamualaikun
September 10th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Concerning what Musa Samaila wrote, you can of course contribute a guest article to these pages if you wish. Click on contact TeenPerspectives at the left of this page, and ask about contributing an article.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
salaam to you. well i just thought i might have a few things to say about your dilemma.
first and foremost, this is no dilemma at all. i mean i found it pretty ambiguous that u introduce urself as a muslim mixed race. u shouldnt be having a cultural problem since ur culture is islam. islam is a culture that ALLAH HIMSELF sent down to us so that we realize we are not but the same. all humans.
it is time people all over the world, and muslims being at the forefront, admit to all this natioalistic stupidity and patriotic nonsense. im human thats it. im thankful ALLAH made me born in b’desh, not proud. nothing to be proud of since we are all people.
our true heritage is a universal one and that shows we are born of adam and eve. the rest is pure nonsense.
September 29th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Can I just say, if some people can come on here and say what their ONE nationality is, then if somebody asks me where I am from, I correctly tell them my two nationalities, which are directly inherited from my parents. For example, if somebody says they are English, and they are just English, then that is correct. So if you are mixed race, whether it’s two or more nationalities mixed in you, then that’s what you are. Yes, Islam comes first, but we do also have a cultural identity, that is stemmed from the country or countries we orginate from. That’s basically what I’m saying. I was actually once told by somebody that my English side has no place in Islam, and only my Libyan side is recognised. Well, that’s definately nationalistic! Weird thing was, this person who said it, is 100% English. Judge as you please.
November 5th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
sorry i dont have much time to comment but i came across your article and i feel i should. i know you have mixed feelings. im a muslim myself, and id just like to say islam is a very strong a great religion to live by. I believe if you stick to Islam, you will eventually find peace in your life. dont worry, i wish u all the luck
xx
November 30th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Sumaya!!!!!! GREAT ARITCAL!!!!it made me smile while reading if due to the amount of times we have spoke about this very matter!! i was defo not smiling while reading what happend to u,really sorry about that! Imagine my mum who is full British, due to the way she dresses gets a snowball thrown on her head a few years ago!Gets me so angry! But yeah back to what you were talking about,at times i get very confused with what i fall under! Plus i love both roots =S …..i say take the good from them both and leave the bad 1ns behind!! =]
January 3rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Hi Somayya,
I’m a non-muslim, western-type person & may I wish you much peace.
If we take the eternal truths from most religions we find peace, love, tolerance & faith. Also we are taught about right action & right deed: Even In both the thought AND the deed.
Therefore if we see duality in ourselves we shall see it in others: vice-versa: if we see fault in others, we are recognising the faults in ourselves.
So; What to do????
Simple- as the great sages have taught us all- LOVE yourself.. To a fault; But just make sure you save some room for your creator too!!!
Warmly, Glen F
February 17th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
February 20th, 2009 at 5:08 am
It’s warming to know that you show the whole world that Muslims are people too, just like me and everyone else here. Perhaps this will help lower the bigotry that was perpetuated against your people and things go back to being peaceful, for once.
February 21st, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Thank you so much for all the great comments! I do read all of them, even I dont always post back on here. Thank you for reading, and hopefully we will get some new articles up soon. My editor has disappeared, so I have decided to take everything into my own hands, inshallah that goes well!
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
This is a great article, I can’t wait for your next one. It is true that it can be difficult be mixed race when you’re young and finding it hard to fit in, but when you’re older it’s a real thrill to come from such a varied cultural background
June 1st, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I am a reverted Muslima. I said Shahada in 2007. I am a white brunette.. But does it really matter what I am? I am just a Muslim, irrespective of my ethnicity. Allah made me, Allah made all of us, and that is all that counts. I love other cultures and all that.. but I don’t wish to get trapped up in the whole “Your’e white, so you must be Christian, or you have to be a certain way” deal. I am just me. That is it. Ma’Salaama.
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Kristy, of course it doesnt matter where you are from, but we live in a world where people MAKE ethnicity such an important thing, when it really doesnt matter where you are from. It doesnt make you superior, nor inferior to anyone else. I wrote this article because as a mixed-race person I have grown up with two cultures, two nationalities, two languages, that are all a part of me. Its not just something I like, or a lagnuage that I learnt, its actually all part of me. Unless you are mixed-race yourself, you cant really understand what its like. Its totally different to just being one race and appreciating another nationality’s cuisine or something. And people do try and get you to choose between your nationalities when mixed race, and take it seriously if you say your prefer one over the other….. I just say I am both and love both equally, but that answer doesnt satisfy some people lol. Some people just want to put you in a box, metaphorically, and they cant if you are mixed.
June 28th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Hi, i read your article and i think it is good. There is no need 2 worry about being more than 1 race. Yes i think you should think yourself as muslim but remember, its good to be more than one race. I am two different races, between english and jamaican but i think i belong more to english because i only live with my mum and she is english so i feel more comfortable being british, i also have a half bro but he is a different colour to me and i got a lot of questions asked about me and him but i ignor them so overall i think you should stick to being muslim.xxx.
August 26th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
i’ve just read your story and felt sorry about your encounter with prejudiced racists. but remember, Allah said when you believe in him, his messengers, his angels, his scriptures, the lastday, the hell, the paradise, then Allah will put you through trials and tribulations to test your faith (iman). don’t be discouraged Allah loves those who are patient. (INNALLAH MA’ASSABRIN QURAN). forget about your mixed race. with the feeling that you are a muslim is enough to overcome your sorrows and worries. let the Quran be your companion always, i assure you all your worries, fear and sorrow will disappear. keep on with your good work. may Allah help and unite the muslim ummah amen.